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The #1 Cause of Stress (And How to dissolve It)

written by dan goldfield 12th of November 2022
read time: 6 minutes

a 2012 study by NHS Scotland found that "psychological distress is associated with increased risk of mortality from several major causes..."¹Stress is literally a matter of life or death.sadly, most people never get free of stress because they simply don’t know it’s possible to do so (even though the methods have been taught for thousands of years in other cultures.)

Toxic Culture: Stress As A Badge of Honour

Have you ever been praised for working through stress?Have you ever wondered whether the stress really brings better results?you may already have figured out that smart work is better than hard work.But school brainwashed you and me and everyone else into thinking stress is a badge of honour.Here are the other main reasons people struggle with stress:1. It’s familiar
2. It’s woven into most ways of doing things
3. It is somewhat effectiveBut I’m going to explain how you can overcome these problems step-by-step... and see that you're actually more effective when you're at ease.

Step 1: Find An Alternative

Stress is one way to get things done, but it’s not the only way.Consider the last time you "worked" on something you enjoy.Did you find it stressful? (If so you need to find a new hobby.)Were you able to produce something? (Yes, your PlayStation trophy counts; Nailing your frisbee throw counts.)More convincingly: have you ever been in flow state?these two examples are proof that stress is not the only way to get things done.And before you protest, "of course there’s no stress in playing video games dan!" Many people would find Minecraft stressful—and there are things that stress you out that others enjoy.It’s all about interpretation.so we're going to do some reinterpretation...

Effortless Productivity

I wrote a recent newsletter while I was on vacation.not because i had to—because I wanted to.some people hate writing. but I love it. so I was able to do that "work" while I was "off work".And so I get the benefits (self-expression, connecting with people like you, building my tribe).But why does this matter?

Stress Is A Matter Of Interpretation

If writing itself had the power to make people stressed, everyone who did it would get stressed.In other words, it’s not the activity itself that makes you stressed. That’s physiologically impossible.rather, it’s your interpretation of the activities you do that stresses you out.Specifically, when you resist what’s happening in a moment—any moment—you create stress.

Sometimes I feel stressed out because my mind wants the current version of me to finish things that only the future version of me can.
— Inner Practitioner (@MindTendencies2) April 24, 2021

So all you have to do to get free of stress is change your interpretation of what’s happening.Easier said than done, I know.so let me help you out…

Step 2: Reconsider The Way You’re Doing Things

We humans are wired to stick with what’s familiar. Recently, we’ve talked about this in terms of "the comfort zone".What’s crazy about the comfort zone is that it often includes pain—especially when that pain is normalized.If you’ve ever gone back to an ex-lover you know exactly what I’m talking about.

How to Break Free

Wisdom traditions and psychology agree that the way to get out of your comfort zone is to:1. Recognise you’re in it
2. Recognise it’s bad for you
3. Make a series of small decisions to go in the direction of deliberate, healthy discomfortLet’s say you find your job stressful.🔹 You struggle to wake up in the mornings because you dread what’s coming
🔹 You avoid eye contact with everyone when you arrive
🔹 You think about clocking off all day (which only makes the day seem longer)
🔹 You do the minimum possible on work tasks (which has your boss on your back)What you need to do is flip this 180.Find some other reason to get up in the morning.Make time for a hobby or a meditation.get into healthy breakfast foods.meet a friend for a workout.Next, deliberately smile and greet your colleagues. Maybe you can brighten someone else’s shitty day. They may not tell you but trust me—they’ll appreciate it sooner or later.Finally, immerse yourself in your tasks and do them to the best of your ability. It doesn’t matter what they are, I assure you this will make your workday seem to pass more quickly. It’ll also get your boss off your back.Put all this together and you might even find yourself in line for a promotion. When that happens, you’ll likely be given increased responsibility but also increased freedom (and money) to go with it.Get enough promotions and you’ll be calling all the shots yourself. Or maybe you’re able to take your savings and start your own business around one of those hobbies we thought about earlier.The best start on all this is to do it as an experiment.Me telling you this stuff is a good idea just isn’t worth much—I want you to discover the benefits of these shifts in your own direct experience.

From Breakdown to Brilliance

Here’s a favourite story about stress from one of my great teachers, Ram Dass.There was a man who worked as Vice President of a large company that handled industrial loans. This man had a nervous breakdown.On leaving hospital, the man decided he wouldn’t go back to work. He sold his belongings, bought a guitar and went travelling around the USA.He learned to meditate, experimented with psychedelics and enjoyed a stress-free life for a few years.Later, wandering through his hometown, the man bumped into someone from his old company. This ex-colleague told him that the Vice President position had just become vacant and they’d love to have him back."Why not?" he thought.So he bought a suit, shaved and went back to his old job."Was it the same?" Ram Dass asked him."It was completely different," the man replied. "The first time I did the job I was Vice President of a company handling industrial loans. But when I went back, I went back to be with people. and the reason for our being together just happened to be industrial loans."It’s all interpretation.

Step 3: Get A Glimpse Of Your Life Without Stress

What would your life be like without stress?What would a typical day be like?Now that you know stress is all about simple interpretation, this future is more possible than ever.All you need to do is stop resisting what’s going on. Then you’re free to engage with it freshly.You’re likely going to have to get out your comfort zone. this can be tricky but don’t worry: I have the cheat code for you.This cheat code has been called "mindfulness" and "meditation", but these are just labels. Forget any preconceptions you have around those labels and do a little experiment with me.1. get comfortable in a distraction-free environment2. chill out (accept everything as it is); let go (stop wishing things were different); quiet down (stop judging and labelling things)3. when you notice tension or distraction acknowledge this as successful practice4. repeat steps 2 & 3I assure you this little experiment will greatly assist you in everything I’ve written about in this letter.in 2015 I was so stressed out that my mental anguish was manifesting as chronic physical pain.This pain was at its worst when I did my work, which was playing and teaching drums.I had to lie flat on the ground after performances just to get some pain relief.Naturally, I attributed the pain to the work itself. So I started to hate the work. So I got more stressed. Downward spiral.It wasn’t until I started experimenting with the practice I laid out above that things got easier.I started to look at and work with my stress directly (rather than being at the mercy of the experiences I was having).As i dissolved my mental stress, my physical pain eased too. I found fresh enjoyment not only in my work but in everything else I was doing too.Eventually, I rediscovered the natural clarity, peace and happiness that is my birthright. It’s yours too, I promise.and best of all, this didn't represent a decrease in effectiveness but an increase!i was a better musician, teacher, entrepreneur, communicator, friend, son, brother and lover.if you have questions about how to make all this work for you, don't be shy: dm me on twitter or instagram.with love from my sofa,

dg 💙

¹Association between psychological distress and mortality: individual participant pooled analysis of 10 prospective cohort studies

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